


Love of a sister

by Merthur_destiel



Series: Sisters love [1]
Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders (TV 1990), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-26 04:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6223741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merthur_destiel/pseuds/Merthur_destiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Me? I'm Ember Louisa Curtis. Twin.  Lover. Fighter. Greaser. The only girl in a gang of boys. You've heard Ponyboy's version of the story now here's mine. Full of Heartbreak and sorrows but that's the life of a greaser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Begin the begin

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!

Some days I can’t help but look at the pin up girls on my brother’s walls. I compare myself to Betty Grable the most, the girl from that Marilyn Monroe movie. I wish I was blonde and gorgeous, instead I’m stuck with long dark brown hair and size 10 jeans. I had blue eyes like Betty, but her’s showed happiness and riches while mine… well mine show a kid who has had to grow up too fast. A kid who has gone through more in her 16 years than people do in 30. Most days I just sat on my bed and stared at the posters on Soda’s of the room. Betty Grable. Carroll Baker. Diana Dors. Leslie Brooks. All blonde, beautiful and skinny. Though i’m sort of content with my size, most of the boys compare me to Marilyn Monroe. I just dismiss it, it truly is such a silly thing to say. I’ve dragged the boys to her movies whenever they’re showing at the drive in, but they would rather be looking up someone’s skirt than looking at the screen. Sadly, they were my only option when it came to the movies, I don’t have any friends outside of the gang. It’s not that I couldn’t make any, I just didn’t want any. Girls nowadays just used me to get to my brothers. 

On top of that We are greasers, it’s a word used to class the poor east siders. The ones who attacked Pony, they are socs, short for the socials. They live on the west side of town. They are considered the good ones, but in the end they sometimes cause more ruckus than us. It’s true we probably are more wilder but we don’t go around jumping Socs. The Socs get articles for being disgraces one day and the next they are the best things to happen to this damn society, that’s how this city works. Socs dress differently, they are always wearing sweater vests and khakis. While Greasers go for a more simpler look of t-shirts and jeans, maybe even some plaid shirts here and there if we are feeling risky. The boys use a TON of hair grease. Ponyboy and Johnny used the most out of all of the boys.

I heard yelling and the pounding of feet as the front door slammed. My blue eyes searched the room for a hair tie as I jumped off the bed. I raced toward the front room swinging open the bedroom door. When I got to the front room it was empty, I could hear faint yells coming from down the street “SODA! DAR-” Ponyboy. I threw open the front door and raced down the street only to catch a glimpse of a blue mustang drive away. I felt like I had stopped breathing and the memories of a few weeks ago flooded into my head as I froze behind a tree just staring at my brothers as they comforted poor Ponyboy. I couldn’t bare the sight of my younger brother in pain. Blood was running down his chest from the multiple cuts on his neck from the switch blade. “Ponyboy” I yelled racing over to him as Darry stood him up. “Pony! Oh baby are you okay?” I cried putting his face in my hands. I came in contact with his beautiful green- grey eyes. I ran my fingers through his tuff auburn hair. 

“Em.” He choked out as he hugged me with all his strength.  
“I’m right here Pony they aren’t gonna hurt you no more.” I wrapped his body in my arms as it began to shake with sobs. I just stood there with him rubbing his back. I pressed a kiss to his head and held him tighter to my body. “Let’s get you home.” He nodded into my chest before pulling away and grabbing my hand. I smiled at my brother and gave his hand a squeeze of reassurance as we began our walk home, the gang trailing behind.

Ponyboy had just turned 14 a few months ago. He is the baby of the family and the gang but he hates to be treated that way. Pony’s a huge dreamer and digs movies and books in a special way. A way that only a few of us understand. He realizes the good in the world. He sees the beauty in everything he looks at and has been this way since he was a kid. I didn’t mind it but it drives Darry insane. 

Darry is the oldest of us all. Darry is named after dad. He is six foot two just like Dad. I call him Superman due to his giant muscles and his incredible mind. He had a great scholarship to great college, but he gave it up to be the guardian of my brothers and I after Mom and Dad were killed in a automobile accident over a year ago, for that he is my superhero. He has blue-green eyes that have become like ice since he took on that roofing job. He is real smart, book smart and street smart. He seems to know everything, he doesn’t really fit in with the greasers but we are the only things that kept him away from the socs. He is a real looker all of my brothers are in their own ways. Pony with his boyish charm and adorable grin, Darry with his bruting muscles and mysterious eyes, and Sodapop with his movie star looks.

Soda- my twin brother- is a different kind of handsome, he’s the kind you see on the big screen at the drive-in each night. Soda is a little bit shorter than Darry but still a good height. Soda’s muscle build is slimmer than Darry but not as slim as Pony. He has this golden blonde hair that makes him look like a greek god. He has Dad’s eyes, dark brown and full of emotion. Soda can go from being wild and reckless to the kindest and most caring person I know, Soda is special that way. He dropped out of school a little after our parents died and he now works full time at the DX. He only smokes when he’s stressed and never drinks, while Pony smokes almost a pack a day and Darry won’t even go near them. 

“Pony, everything is okay,” I told him as I wiped the tears from his face. 

“I know i’m just a little spooked that’s all.” I nodded and smiled softly.

“They got away those dirty fu-”

“KEITH!” I yelled before he could finish that sentence. Two-Bit as you can tell, has an extremely colorful vocabulary. Keith “Two-Bits” Matthews is the second oldest of our little family. He is eighteen and a half but he’s still in the eleventh grade - with me. Two-bits never stops talking he’s the king of interrupting, that's why we call him Two-Bits. He’s the funny guy of our gang everything becomes a joke to him. He knows how to make you smile in the darkest of times. 

“What are you doing walking alone kid.” Steve questioned as he held his nose.

“Butt out Steve and leave him be” I warned and glared at him. 

Steve Randle just turned 17 and he has been best friends with Sodapop and I since we were in grade school. Sometimes his anger gets too out of hand. Though i’m the only one who can get through to him and the rest of the boys. They all confide in me. Steve has a messed-up home situation, his father is a drunk and kicks him out of the house at least once a week. Then the next day gives him money to try and make up for it. Steve comes to our house to hide out. He’ll sleep on the couch but usually he comes into my room and we talk all night long. He lays with his head in my lap as I run my fingers through his hair. He will rant and cry about anything and everything that is on his mind. One of Steve’s greatest talents is fixing cars. He can replace a hubcap quicker and quieter than any man in all of Tulsa. He wants to be more than that though, he wants to prove to everyone he isn’t just a mechanic. 

The most dangerous of our gang is Dallas Winston. He has a rap sheet longer than the Declaration of Independence (trust me I’ve read both) and he is extremely proud of it. He has platinum blonde hair and cold ice blue eyes. He didn’t grease nor cut his hair causing it to line his face. Dally’s face is an elfish face, he has high cheekbones and a pointed chin. Dally has a heart of stone, the meanest of our entire gang. The first time Dally got arrested he was 10 years old. He spent a total of three years out in New York with the toughest gangs you will ever see. Dally was closer to a hood than a greaser, he’s wild. Dally would be classed with the downtown gangs if it wasn’t for us. Dally has been worse since my parents died, they kept him fed and out of trouble. They were the closest thing he ever had to real parents. I think he took it the worse out of all the boys, when he found out he ran. I chased him all the way to the gas station,but it was too late. The cops caught him stealing and he was jailed. Now the gang is the only thing he has left in this crooked world. 

Then there’s Johnny Cade, The second youngest though he is treated more like a kid than Pony. Johnny’s parents are abusive drunks, his father beats him and his mother pretends he isn’t even there. There have been many sleepless nights where i’ve cleaned the wounds of his most recent beatings and held him as he cried. I couldn’t understand how two people couldn’t love one of the sweetest boy in this world.Johnny had gotten jumped a few weeks back by some socs. I guess one of them was wearing some rings and they beat him up pretty bad.  
I had begun to think it was all my fault I left Johnny in the park to go get some drinks and food. When I got back the socs were leaning over his body. I screamed out and ran towards them. That’s when one of them turned and grabbed me. He pinned me to the ground to keep me from getting to Johnny. I recognized the boy from school and I could tell he knew me too. He was holding my arms and had his legs on both sides of my hips. 

“Stop moving greaser!” The Soc shouted in my ear. He quickly sat up adding more pressure on my hips and sent a quick punch to my lip causing me to cry out. “SHUT UP” I stopped moving as he continued to punch me everywhere. I lifted my knee into an area that hurt him the most, The Soc rolled off of me holding onto his crotch. I quickly jumped up and ran to Johnny. Once the other boys saw what I did they ran too. Our gang found us in the vacant lot, I was sitting against the tree crying. The Soc had such a tight hold on me my wrists were beginning to bruise. I heard the boys yelling but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I felt a pair of arms pick me up bridal style and begin to walk towards the house. I looked up to see Darry holding on to me, I grabbed on to his shirt and started to sob. 

“It’s okay Ember we are almost home.” That night I slept with Darry, I woke up every night that week with night terrors. I couldn’t get it out of my head, it was almost as bad as when mom and dad.

“Superman?” I tried to wake him up, I felt awful he had a long hard day at work I didn’t want to annoy him with my lack of sleep. 

“W-what” He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and lifted himself up into a sitting position. “Ember why aren’t you asleep?”

“Sorry I-it’s just i’m scared Dar, so scared.” He pulled me into his side and I started to cry as he rubbed his hands up and down my back. 

“They won’t hurt you no more. I promise.” We stayed that way for around an hour before I fell asleep in my oldest brother’s arms. Darry has been a lot more protective of me since that day.  
*  
“You don’t ever think,” Darry began “ not anywhere it counts. With all of those good grades you still don’t use head. You should have at least had your blade.”

“Aw Darry lay off him. Carrying a blade would have gave the socs an excuse to cut him off more.” Soda yelled he always sticks up for Pony but one of these times it’s going to get him in trouble.  
“If i want my kid-brother to tell me what to do with my other kid-brother I’d ask kid brother-”

“Okay Superman let’s go inside.” I grabbed Darry’s hand and dragged him indoors. I could tell he was upset, but didn’t want to show it. “Dar, you need to stop holding back your emotions. If you stopped yelling at him all the time maybe you two would actually talk.”

“Ember Louise you don’t get to tell me what to do I need to set some authority with him and apparently with you too.”

“You also need to remember he is your brother too, not just some kid you have to take care of. It’s a big change for us all Darry. It’s hard for Ponyboy, he’s struggling a lot. Please just try, now i’m going to go get him so I can clean up that cut and get him to do some homework.”

Darry sighed as he sat down in the recliner and turned on the television. I walked to the door to find Pony. “Ponyboy come on inside. Johnny, Dally you staying for dinner?”

“I’m heading to Bucks see you guys later!” Dally yells as he walks out the gate

“See ya Dal.” I yelled out waving “Johnny?”

“No, i’m all set. Thanks for the offer though!” Johnny smiled 

“Johnny I don’t want you out in that cold tonight. Make sure you come here.” He nodded and walked off. As I opened the door to let Pony in a gust of wind blew past my face. I stepped outside i needed to breathe, if we didn’t hear Pony he could have been killed. Why are the socs on our territory? Why can’t Darry understand he can’t always act this way. He’s not dad, he’s Darry, I wish Superman was back

“Hey Ember.” I turned to see Sodapop “what’s wrong?” His smiled turned to a frown when he saw my face.

“They could have hurt him real bad, what if the state finds out I don’t want to be separated Soda I-I c-can’t be separated from you guys.” He threw his arms around me and allowed me to sob into his clean white shirt. He ran his fingers through my hair and rubbed circles on my back with the other hand. 

“Ember, Darry will never let that happen” I picked up my head to look at my brother. “Never in a million years,” He flashed me a smile causing me to laugh.  
“Aw shit” I cursed “I’m suppose to be helping Pony.” I let go of Soda and ran inside  
*  
“Ponyboy Michael sit still!” I couldn’t deal with this boy. Every move I made to clean this wound, he would squirm on the couch. “Pony I have to clean it!”

“It stings Em,” Ponyboy whined 

“It’s going to sting more if you don’t sit still.” After 5 minutes of struggling and Soda holding his shoulders down, the wound was finally cleaned. “Go get your homework done while we’re cooking dinner. I’ll call you when it’s done.” Ponyboy walked to his room and shut the door. I started cleaning the blood off the floor and picking up the mess that was created. 

Dinner came and went, I checked over Ponyboy’s math as he showered. This used to be Dad’s job, he would clean the wounds and check the homework. Mom would cook the dinner, the second she would turn away Soda would take the food coloring and put it into anything. Soda doesn’t like when things are normal. I remember mom’s laughter when she turned to find Soda mixing the blue mashed potatoes. I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. I finished up my own homework and returned everything to bags. 

“Rub harder Soda” I heard Darry mumble “You’re gonna put me to sleep.” I let out a small chuckle. I walked into the living room to see Soda giving Darry a backrub. He hurt himself at work again because he tries to carry too much roofing. Darry doesn’t deserve to be working like a 40 year old at 20. He was boy of the year and captain of the football team. Now he’s a roofer working his ass off to take care of his three siblings. He could have been so much more if we had the money. I wish we had the money. What he doesn’t know is i’ve been making some extra money tutoring socs at school. I’ve been saving the money in a box under my bed. My plan is when Ponyboy graduates high school i’m going to give the money to Darry to put him through college at the community college down the road. I want to help Darry have a better life just like he gave us one.


	2. losing my mind

_ I was falling I could hear screams and I knew they were mine. Darkness covered me and I couldn't see anything. I was still falling quickly. I soon saw a small light below me, I was going to die. A loud crash echoed throughout the darkness and suddenly I was back in my living room. I sat on arm of the the couch and watched the memory unfold. Sixteen year old Darry stood in the middle of the room with my mother by his side. His huge muscular frame towered over her small frame. He put his arms up in the air just as he was shown. Mom was teaching him to dance. I heard a laugh from beside me so I turned, dad. He stood in the doorframe chuckling as Darry danced around around the room stepping on my poor mother's feet. Darry was the worse slow dancer I had ever seen. He got too stressed and tensed to be a good dancer. His frustration got the best of him and he slumped on the couch. The scene changed once more as dad kept laughing. _

_ I was watching from the window of the kitchen as a police car rolled up. Soda was at the table finishing his homework. Darry was in the shower and Ponyboy was in the family room with Dally and Johnny.  I heard a knock at the door as the shower shut off.  I thought it was going to be a policeman bringing Two-Bit but it wasn't. Three policemen stood at my door with solemn looks on their face. They told me they were looking for Darry and I welcomed them inside as they waited. The gang gathered in the kitchen as Darry spoke with the policemen. I hit the floor…. My parents are dead.  _

 

I woke up with a scream, tears were running down my face. Within two seconds I was in Darry’s arms. He tried to console me but I couldn't hear him through the tears. “THEY’RE DEAD!” I screamed over and over again. There was nothing Darry could do other than hold me tight. “I-I'm”  _ hiccup  _ “s-sorry”  _ hiccup  _ “d-dar”  _ hiccup _

“It's okay babygirl, everything is okay” Darry whispered in the darkness as he stroked my back. This had become a routine since mom and dad died in the car accident almost a year ago. Darry is the only one who can calm me down out of my brothers, but Dally has become accustomed to awaking me from my nightmares as well. Dally isn't as bad as everyone thinks. He just doesn't understand love. All the boys treat me like their little sister and they are all extremely protective of me. 

By the time I had stopped crying Darry and I laid and my bed next to each other. He had his arm wrapped around my waist and I nuzzled my face into his chest. I listened to the sounds of the shower turning on and then back off 15 minutes later. Soda walked back into his room. I heard the grumbles of Pony as he dragged himself into the bathroom. 

“I’d love to stay with you longer, but I have to get to my job.” He slowly slid out of the bed and stood on the side “Are you going to school?” I shook my head, I wasn’t in a good mindset. I have had the dream of the day mom and day died for months. Every time I do something bad happens. The last time I had the dream was the day before Johnny and I were beat up by the Socs. Darry nodded understandingly, he placed a gentle kiss to my forehead before walking into the kitchen. 

I followed after throwing on a pair of shorts seeing as I had just been wearing one of Darry’s old t-shirts. The whole gang sat around the table and greeted me with a smile except for Soda’s girl Sandy. She came by in the mornings every so often, but we don’t get along.I went over to the stove to grab some breakfast all that was left was a single blue pancake. I looked back to the table and everyone held a full plate including  _ Sandy _ . I placed the ceramic plate back on the shelf and turned to the food cabinet.  _ I guess I am stuck with cereal this morning. _ I sat down in between Dally and Two-bits and tuned out the latest gossip from the DX

“Was anyone on the couch last night?” I whispered to Dally. He nodded still listening to Steve’s rambling about a Soc girl that wore a shirt that showed everything and I mean  _ everything. _

“I was.” I looked at him with guilt and he gave me a small smile. 

“I'm sorry Dal.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned against his chest as I ate my cereal. 

“No worries Emmy-Lee” he whispered before placing a kiss on my head

“Are you going out tonight Soda?” I asked through mouthful of cereal, just to piss off sandy who scowled at me. 

“Yeah Stevie and I are taking Sandy and Evie to the dingo tonight. It’s rock your socks off night.”

“And I got Johnny and Pony tonight,” Dally pitched in “We are going to the drive -in, You’re welcome to come Emmy-Lee.” I smiled at the familiar nickname Dally gave me when I was six. 

“I think I might have night in with Darry, he’s been so exhausted and stressed lately. I’m going to cook a meal and we are going to sit and watch a movie. But Thanks for the offer Dal.” He kissed the top of my head before lightly pushing my shoulder telling me to sit up.

“I’ll be around later Emmy-Lee. See ya Soda, Steve” Everyone chimed in with goodbyes. And soon everyone else followed leaving me with my thoughts. 

Marilyn Monroe once said  “wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” Why do we always wish we are someone else. Why do our brains allow us to see someone and pick out our own imperfections. What even is perfect? The answer is there isn’t just one answer. One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. I use to wish I got as many guys as Angela Shephard did. I wished people liked me as much as they liked Sandy. I spent my days wishing I could be someone else. I wished I was as respected as Darry, smart like Pony, or charming like Sodapop. I wished I wasn’t known as the orphaned greaser girl. I wished I didn’t live in Tulsa. 

“I wish I wasn’t me” I thought out loud as I laid on the couch in the front room. There was no one there to listen. No one was there to judge or slap me over the head for thinking such awful things of myself. The boys don’t understand what it’s like to be the only girl and to be surrounded by testosterone every way you turn. They don’t understand what it’s like to have every girl that enters your life hate your guts. To be in your brothers shadows. To be looked down upon because you didn’t want to leave your twin behind so you didn’t skip a grade. Only to have him drop out six months later. To live a life of hating yourself, being too shy to stand up for yourself.  I wish that people would stop comparing me to Darry in school. I wish people would stop expecting me to have the Curtis charm.  I’m not like my brothers or my father or even my mother. Wishing I was is just a waste of me.

*

The afternoon sun was burning against my leather jacket. I was almost to the DX to visit Soda and Steve on their lunch break. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and let out a sigh. I started to take the jacket off as the red and blue DX sign came into view. The straps of my black swing dress were sticking to my shoulder due to sweat. I fanned myself with my empty hand and held the basket on my other arm. 

The familiar smell of grease filled the block as I turned the corner of Oak road. A red mustang was parked at the first gas pump and Steve stood beside it. I waved with a giant smile and he returned it as he finished the job and sent the driver on it’s way. 

“Hey Em!” 

“Hey Steve, ready for lunch?” Steve let out a chuckle

“You know it Baby Curtis!” I laughed and followed him inside as he yelled to his boss that they were going on lunch. We stopped in front of the door to the back room when we heard cries from within.

_ “Are you serious?”  _ I heard Soda say

_ “Yes, Soda. I took the test. I haven’t told my parents, but you know what will happen when they do find out.”  _ I heard a loud sigh and I turned to Steve 

“Knock on the damn door so we can eat our lunch and I can go home before Pony gets there. Savvy?” Steve gulped and nodded before pounding on the door.

“Heya Soda, Baby is here with lunch y’all ready?” The door opened after a quiet murmur. 

“Hey Em.” Soda said, I could tell he had been crying. No one else would have noticed his eyes weren’t red and puffy. You can call it a twin thing, but I could tell he is upset. 

“Sorry Sandy I didn’t know you were here, I would have brought you something. You can have some of mine if you like.”  I reached out half of my sandwich. She roughly pushed my hand away 

“I’m leaving” she spat. I looked at her with wide eyes as she slammed the door. I slumped down on the couch next to Soda. We all sat there quietly eating the sandwiches and the boys eating the chocolate cake -that I hate- until Soda blurted out

“I got Sandy pregnant.”

  
  
  
  



	3. let the truth sting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please make sure you read the newly edited chapters (as of 4.17.16) before continuing.  
> As usual I don't own the outsiders!

“I know” I whispered “you weren’t speaking very quietly.” Soda rubbed his hands over his face

“I don’t know what to do-”

“That's because you’re a sixteen year old kid, even 30 year olds don’t know what to do. Hell even 3rd time parents don’t know what to do half of the time. No one knows exactly what to do because that's life, and you’re in for a rollercoaster ride. Now you just have to figure out if you’re going to beat it or stay.” I gave him a small smile and stood up as I began to clean up the mess from our lunch. “You know if it was me I would talk to Dar. You remember Mitchell Carmichael?” Soda nodded “Senior year he knocked up Misty Georgiano. Darry helped him out, and he’ll help you too. Well I should head out so I’m back before Pony. Just think about it, after Pony leaves tonight we can sit and talk to Darry. Invite Sandy over I’ll make dinner and we will talk it over.” I pressed a kiss to his head and kissed Steve on his cheek before walking out of the DX.

I took the long way home, through the park. Stopping every so often to sit or just stare into the sky. The house was empty when I got home and Ponyboy wasn’t far behind. Sweat shone on his forehead from his track practice that day and the intense heat of walking home. He sat at the table and started sipping the glass of water I set out for him.

“I want you in the shower before you go anywhere-” Ponyboy let out a groan and slid down in his chair. “Ponyboy Michael do not groan at me get in that shower or you will go no where. And I mean that. Get in that shower right this minute Dally will be here with Johnny within the hour. Darry and Soda will be home in a few minutes they will need the shower too. Savvy?” he nodded “Good” I smirked as I turned back the oven. I heard Pony’s soft footsteps as I placed the tray of chicken inside.Soda stumbled through the door about 20 minutes later. “Hey So-” The bedroom door slammed shut

“What the hell?” Ponyboy yelled, I heard the door open and shut once more. My red headed brother peaked into the kitchen. “Hey Ember have you heard from Dally?" I looked up from my copy of To kill a mockingbird and smiled.

“Yeah baby I heard from him about an hour ago, but not since then. Why?”

“Just want to go out, no one will talk to me.”

“Dinner will be done in a few minutes. We can sit out here and talk and then we can go sit together on the couch and watch Mickey mouse.” He sat down in front of me and I closed my book. “You know your English teacher, Mr. Simes, stopped me in the hall yesterday and told me how good you’re doing in his class.”

“Really?” Pony asked as his eyes lit up with joy.

“Really,” I laughed “ He told me you show a lot of promise in writing. Hey maybe one day you could write about us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah us.” I smiled “ You, me, Darry, Soda, and the gang. You can call it Ember and the Tulsa idiots.” I smiled widely at Pony and he let out a chuckle.

“Maybe I will.” We kept talking and soon the talking turned into laughter and we were laughing so hard we never heard the door open and shut.

“What are you to laughing at?” Darry said with a smile.

“I made a joke.” I said as I got up to get the food out of the oven and take the other food off the stove. Darry shook his head and walked out of the kitchen to go shower. As the water turned on the door opened again.

“Anyone home?” a quiet voice called

“Kitchen!” I yelled back. Dally and Johnny plopped down on the couch as I walked into the front room. “Get your damn feet off of the coffee table Dallas Tucker Winston.” He grumbled and put his feet down. I knocked on the bathroom to tell Darry to hurry up before checking on Soda.

He was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. His hands twitching and his work shirt strung on the floor. Without saying a word to my blonde twin I picked up the laundry basket and picked up the mess of clothes he and Pony left on the floor. I didn’t say anything for Soda, he knew that if he wanted to talk I was there for him. No more confirmation needed in our relationship. Just as I was walking out the door I heard Soda’s strained voice “It’s not mine, I told her I’d drop everything for a kid that's not even mine. She came back, she told her parents and they made her go to the the doctor. She is three months pregnant, but you want to know what’s weird about that. We just had sex for the first time a month ago. She cheated, almost a year into our relationship and she cheated.” The anger started to boil inside of me.

“I’m going to beat the life out of that bi-”

“EMBER NO!” Soda yelled “No. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”

“She hurt you. No one hurts my twin.” I laid down next to him and looked into his brown eyes. The brown eyes once full of happiness and life, now filled with desperation and sorrow.

“Don’t worry about me i’ll be okay. I loved her but I guess she didn’t feel the same. I’m just glad it came out now instead of years from now when I proposed.”

“ Twins!” Dar called as he opened the door “I’m starving and exhausted let’s go!” We smiled and climbed off the bed, to enjoy a great meal with my family. Little did I know it would be our last one for a long while.


	4. something wicked comes this way

**midnight**

Darry has a strict curfew of eleven, but when the clock struck midnight and Ponyboy still wasn’t home; Darry became angrier than I’ve ever seen him before.

“Darry please just stop pacing and read the damn paper.” I stood up off the couch and headed for the door.

“And where do you think your going little lady” Darry was steaming

“To look for Ponyboy.”

“You ain’t leaving this house.” I gaped at him 

“He could be hurt or worse-”

“I said you ain’t leaving. Sit your ass down Ember Louisa.” I fell back on the couch and grumbled as I crossed my arms

" dumb ass stubborn idiot. Shut up Darrel be a brother not a father."  I mumbled I knew Soda heard me because soon I felt an elbow nudge my rib. I smirked and continued to look down at my ripped black converse.

 

**1 a.m.**

Still no sign of Ponyboy and I was becoming more worried than before. I was shaking from the nerves in Sodapop’s arms. Darry finally stopped pacing, instead he sat in dad’s old armchair with the newspaper. “Soda, I don’t think he brought a coat.” I gasped “What if he is stuck somewhere freezing?” He shook his head and kiss the top of mine. 

“Don’t worry Em. I’m sure he is okay.” Darry let out a low grumble causing me to flinch. It’s a habit he picked up from dad. A habit that scared the living hell out of every man, woman and child.

It felt like time was moving slower. The seconds felt like minutes. the minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like days. All I wanted was for Pony to come home.

**2 a.m.**

The door slowly creaked opened and red hair began to peek through. “Pony!” I yelled as I jumped off the couch. I threw myself into his arms giving him zero time to react “Don’t you ever do that again you hear me.” We looked into each other's eyes and nodded 

“I’m sorry Em.”

“You bet your ass you are. Do you know what time it is?” Darry rose from the arm chair his eyes full of fury. “It’s two in the morning little buddy you gonna tell me where you’ve been?”

“I fell asleep in the lot with Johnny. We didn’t mean too.”

“You never mean to Pony!” Darry shouted “I couldn’t even call the cops because they would throw you in a boys home so fast you head will spin.” 

“C’mon Darry lay off he already said he was sorry.” Soda chimed in 

“YOU SHUT UP I’M SICK OF YOU STICKING UP FOR HIM!” Darry screeched

“Dar” I stared gaping at the shell of my older brother

“DON’T YOU YELL AT HIM!” Pony screamed back at Darry

 

You know those moments you feel like time stands still and the world stops spinning? When Darry slapped Ponyboy it was like the entire world stopped moving. I couldn’t even process what was happening. It all happened so quickly I couldn’t even think. I could hear Soda’s screams, but the room won’t stop spinning. What happened to Darry, he just broke. I never thought I see the day Darry caused pain to someone he cares for. Sure we wrestled as kids and it didn’t end until someone was hurt. But Darry refused to hurt us then, why did he hurt Ponyboy now? I ran, I kept running until I made it to my destination.  _ Bucks.  _ I knocked at the door a few times. I was beginning to grow impatient. Finally, a shirtless Buck Merril came to the door with a scowl, but once he saw me his face softened. He already knew why I was here. He moved to the side and yelled “He’s in the bedroom!” Over the loud music and the yells of the drunken people scattered throughout the bar. The stairs felt like they never ended. I was pained with every step I took. The anger boiled inside me as I reached my destination. I knocked on the door of Dally’s room, slowly but surely the door opened. The shirtless blonde stood there rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. When he finally focused on my face he quickly pulled me into the dark room. I pushed him away from me  _ hard  _ causing him to loosen his grip on me. 

“What was th-” he screamed

“You left them at the movies.” 

“Em-”

“SHUT UP! You left them at the movies.”

“Two Bit wa-”

“YOU LEFT THEM AT THE MOVIES!”

“YES!” he screamed “YES I LEFT THEM AT THE MOVIES. I WAS BENT SO I LEFT.” He came closer to me  _ too close. _  He grabbed my arms and forcefully kissed me. I didn't kiss back at some other point in time I might have but, right now I was too pissed to even think straight. I lifted my clenched right hand and socked him in the jaw. Within two seconds I was on the ground. _ He punched me back. _

“Em-” He tried to reach for me, but I scurried out of his reach.

I awkwardly pushed myself off the floor and ran out of the alcohol filled house. I couldn't believe I just did that, that he just did that.  _ I’m just under a lot of stress that's all. My mind was in another place just get home and get some sleep. This will all be okay when you wake up.  _ The truth was I wasn't okay, my chest was on fire from all of the running. I haven't ran this much since Soda broke his arm while we were wrestling when we were 12. Everything was blurry I tried looking around for Pony but everything was just one big blur. The only thing that was clear was the lamp in the living room that was shining through the front window.

 

I don't remember opening the door or stepping onto the dark green carpet, but somehow the next morning I woke up on the couch. My head was on Darry’s chest and my legs were strung across Sodapop’s lap.  I was still wearing Darry’s old Pajama pants and the old white t-shirt I wore the night before. The same thing I left the house in last night.  _ Last night.  _ “PONYBOY” I yelled jumping up and waking my brothers. I started walking around the house looking for the green-eyed boy. 

“Ember.” Soda said from behind me, I turned to him and noticed he had been crying. His eyes were bloodshot and he didn't have his signature grin 

“Pony” I whispered, Soda shook his head tears threatening to fall from his eyes. I fell into his arms and we fell to the ground. Our bodies shaking with sobs, we were crying so loud we didn't hear the slam of the door. 

Soda and I stood up from our position on the floor about an hour after we stopped crying. We had just sat there holding on to each other mourning the loss of our brother. The silence was mutual and we both knew what the other was thinking  _ is he dead? _ We figured Darry had gone to work so we went into Soda and Pony’s bedroom to lay down. We just sat there for awhile before we drifted asleep. This time I didn't even dream. 

  
_ Darry never came home that night. _


	5. When the levee breaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update I had a serious case of writers block. I hope you enjoy.  
> All characters except Ember belong to S.E Hinton.

“I’ll send my boys out and i’ll let you know what I find Ember.”

  
“Thanks Tim It means alot. I speak with you later. Thanks again.” I hung up the phone. The Shepherd gang is searching all over town for Darry, Johnny, and Pony.

  
“Did ya hear?” Two- Bit yelled as he walked into the house, letting the slam behind him.

  
“Matthews” I grumbled. I ran my hands over my face as I sat at the table. Two- Bit came stumbling into the room.

  
“Did ya hear? A Soc was found dead in the park two nights ago. Real bloody.” Two-Bit smiled showing his crooked teeth. I gave him a small smile that quickly faded. I kept one hand on the already showing bruise on my cheek from my encounter with Dally last night. “What's wrong Baby?”

  
“Pony and Johnny killed that Soc, the police called this morning. Darry’s gone, never came home from work last night, but if I called the police we would be put in foster homes. I just got off the phone with Shepherd, his boys are searching town, but there is no sign of them. I don't know what to do Two-Bit. Sometimes I wish I was the one who died instead of mom and dad.” Two-Bit slammed his fist on the table causing me to jump and stare wide eyed at him.

  
“Don't ever say that again! You know not one of us can function without you Ember. If you weren’t here all of us would probably be dead on a street somewhere.”

  
“Ponyboy might still be here if my parents were too.” A tear fell from my eye then I couldn’t stop them from flowing. “Maybe Johnny wouldn’t be missing either. Maybe we wou-” 

"Ember what’s that?” Two-bits voice was soft as he moved back next to me. _oh shit_ I thought.

  
“Nothing” I mumbled

  
“NOTHING!” Two-Bit screeched

“Ember there is a giant bruise on your cheek. Who hit you?” I looked down at the table “Who?” He yelled louder causing me to jump.

  
“Dallas.” I whispered

  
“Dallas.” He whispered back and he sat in the chair next to me.

  
“I Punched him last night because he got too close to me when I was yelling at him for leaving Ponyboy and Johnny and he punched me back. I ran out of there before anything else happened.”

  
“I should beat him to a bloody pulp.”

  
“But, you won’t. I don’t want you hurt in anyway. You are all I have right now, with Pony, Johnny and Darry all missing and Soda isn't acting like Soda, Steve’s dad kicked him out again and Dal- well you know what Dallas did. Please Two-Bit what I need right now is for you to sit on the couch with me and be my friend.” I walked out of the kitchen and threw myself on the couch.

“Em-” Two flopped down next to me “I'm sorry” I placed my head on his lap and whispered

“Me too”  
                      €

“Can I help you?” I snarled as I opened the rickety door. Two-bits looked up for the television and took his place by my side.

  
“Is Sodapop here?” Sandy asked

  
“Why would I let you see him?”

  
“I don’t know what you mean.” I laughed

  
“What I mean is from the moment I met you, I have loathed you and every time you walk into this house you act like you’re better than us. Don’t forget sweetheart you’re a greaser through and through. You ain’t any better than Dallas Winston, disloyal to your love one. It's sickening, my baby brother is missing and now my eldest brother is too. You broke the one person who I have left so give me one good reason why I should let you speak to the only brother I have left.”

  
“I think she should.” Sodas soft voice whispered as he sauntered into the room.

  
“Soda? Are you sure?” I looked at him, my gaze was no longer tough, I tried to look as caring as I possibly could with my blood boiling.

  
“You already told me you cheated might as well just tell me with who.”

  
She whispered as tears filled her eyes. I looked towards Soda he had his eyes clenched shut and his knuckles were turning white due to him squeezing them shut. I slowly backed away from the door and kicked Two-Bits motioning to my bedroom.

  
“Wha-” I kicked him again “Ow!”

  
“Oh shut up!” I grabbed his hand and yanked him off the couch.

  
                       €

  
There was silence for awhile until the door slammed and Sodas screams of frustration filled the house. I laid frozen on the bed as Two-Bit played with my hair trying to calm me down. I let Soda scream and cry until I heard the sound of glass shattering. I felt myself breathing faster and faster. Soon I couldn't control it, I felt two large hands grab my shoulders and sit me up. Soon his gray eyes looked like blobs in front of my face. The room was spinning around me, the sounds of glass shattering echoed around me. The sound of my heart beating, racing was pounding in my ears.

_I'm going crazy._

I could see movement from Two-bits mouth but I couldn't understand what he was saying. His yells merged together into sounds. Another pair of hands grabbed onto mine. Their rough hands grabbed onto my face forcing me to look at them. Two ice blue eyes stared back at mine.

_Darry._

I squeezed my eyes shut this isn’t happening it’s all in my head. When I opened my eyes the ice blue orbs were no longer present. Instead wheat gold orbs stared back at me. Soda. It was all in my head. I felt my hand on his chest. His heart was beating below my hand. Something about it felt calming.

  
_Ba-bump_

  
breath. 

  
_ba-bump_

  
Breath.

  
_Ba-bump_

  
Breath.

  
“Good baby girl. Good job. It's okay. It's okay” he pulled me into his arms. “Everything is okay.” 

It was okay in that moment but, nothing ever stays the same for long.


	6. As time goes by

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long I had a serious case of writers block! Leave some comments below of what you would like to see happen! 
> 
> Everything belongs to SE Hinton.

A few years ago The Countours came out with the song “do you love me.” The best day was when my father came home with the 45 rpm. Our family couldn't always afford them. Normally I'd get one for my birthday but, never really any other point. We played the song on repeat, when my father was home he would dance me around the living room. After school Soda would take my hand and perform some of the worse jive dancing just so he could see me smile. It was times like those I could see why all of the girls were charmed by him.

  
One cold night late in January. I sat on the living room couch in between Soda and Darry reading _Great Expectations_  for class. The whole room was quiet as the boys were finishing up their own homework. Our parents laughter rang out from the kitchen, it was the greatest sound I've ever known. That day was Darry’s birthday, and mom and dad were in the kitchen making a special dinner that was a surprise for their eldest son. Darry stood up from the couch and headed to the record player we kept in the corner.

  
“Dar what are you doing?” I asked quietly. He kept silent but turned to me smirking. The first few beats of the beloved song played and Soda began to recite the beginning as he stood in front of me. “You broke my heart 'Cause I couldn't dance”

  
“You didn't even want me around” young Pony said as he stood up on the other side. Darry moved away from the record player waving his giant finger at me.

  
“And now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down” Darry grabbed my hand and began to swing me around the living room. We jived and jumped through the entire song our childish laughter filling the house.

Soon I felt my father's rough hands on my shoulder. When I turned he bowed and took my hand. Spinning me around the living room. We were all out of breath and smiling by the end of the song. I don't think I ever smiled so much in my life. 

I haven't heard that song since before mom and dad died. I barely even touch the record player. Every so often Two would throw on Elvis but other than that we don't use it. The memories hurt too much. I would love to break it out of the dusty corner it's sitting in but I can't bring myself to even look at something that used to bring so much joy to the family when our parents were alive.

  
“Emmy?” Soda murmured. We had been quietly sitting on the couch since breakfast. I turned to see his sad face peering up at me from the car magazine. “Can you sing?”

  
“I don’t know Soda I ain’t-”

  
“I think you should” A gruff voice called from the doorway. I knew that voice like the back of my hand. The voice that scared me and comforted me. The voice that now

  
“Darry?” I yelled in disbelief “Where have you been?”

  
“I-”

  
“How could you just up and leave like that?”

  
“I-”

  
“After everything we have gone through. How could you.”

  
“Em-”

  
“Don't Em me!” I screamed “you left. You left.” There was silence as tears fell from my eyes. “Y-you left.” I stood up to face him. His eyes went wide when they saw my cheek

  
“Who did that to you?”

  
“It doesn’t matter now, Two-bit took care of them because he didn't leave me when I needed someone the most. You know we couldn’t even report you missing. I’ve had Tim looking for you and the boys. Everyone was looking for you! We couldn't even ring the police or else we'd be screwing ourselves. Do you understand how stupid and immature this was?” The silence continued “Say something! god damn it!”

  
“I-I I'm sorry-”

  
“Sorry?” Soda whispered “you disappeared without a word and all we get is sorry?”

  
“Soda-” Darry moved forward

  
“No.” He held his hand out.  "We went through hell this week. Sandy cheated on me and got pregnant. Where were you when I needed my older brother to talk some sense into me?" 

I felt myself walk forward until I got to the door.

  
“Where are you going?” Darry asked

  
“To find my little brothers and bring them home.” And then I was gone and I knew exactly where to start.

€

“Dallas Winston. I know you know where they are now bring me to them.” The blonde looked at me as if he was studying me. “Don't play games with Winston.” My eyes were as icy as Darry and he knew I meant business. The glare lasted for a few moments before I welled up with tears “Dally bring me to my brother.” He stared for a few moments the uncommon silence filled the room. He turned from me and walked towards the door.

  
“Let's go.”


	7. The song remains the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! As always all character are except for Ember belong to the lovely S.E Hinton

The drive seemed to drag on tirelessly. We didn't stop or talk, the radio was on low. The sounds of the Four Seasons murmured through the speakers. I just stared out the window watching the small towns pass me by. Soon we arrived in the countryside of Oklahoma. A place I didn't recognize. 

 

“Where are we?” I questioned. 

 

“Windrixville” Dally announced. 

 

“You son of a bitch.” I yelled. Dally stared at me with the emptiness in his eyes. “I can't believe you.” I broke our eye contact. I couldn't stand to look at the face of the man who kept my brothers whereabouts a secret. 

 

“Emmy Lee, I was trying to protect them.” He grabbed ahold of my hand and I stared at them intently.

 

“Don't call me Emmy Lee,” I spat. 

 

“I wouldn't do anything to hurt you if it wouldn't benefit your family.” 

 

“No. I hate you rightnow Dallas Winston.If you don't shut your mouth I might Just kill you myself. ” 

 

I got out of the car and slammed the door shut. I stood at the hood staring at the broken down church. This is the place my baby brother has been hiding for almost a week. The roof looked like it was about to cave. The Windows boarded, and the air chill. My little brother is in there most likely asleep. It was just before the sunrise. The sky was beginning to turn pink, Ponyboy’s favorite sight. I felt Dallas’ presence behind me. I refused to look back at him as I headed towards the old church. 

 

The boys were laying on the broken down benches that were once pews. Places where people found faith and prayed for good things to happen. It felt weird to me to be standing in a church at this moment. I hadn't stepped in one since mom and dad had died. From the angle I was standing I only saw Ponyboys worn out shoes. Boy, he needed some new ones. I made my way over to his head, “what the hell?” I whispered. I had to hold back the laughter his hair is blonder than Sodapop’s. 

 

“Pony” I whispered as I placed my hand on his shoulder.   
He groaned, still asleep, his breathing began to pick up and he yelled “EMBER NO!” He sat up quickly, still breathing heavily. 

 

“Pony baby I'm right here” I calmly said as I moved towards his shaking body. I could see Dally staring at us from the corner of my eye. “That dream wasn't real. I'm right here in front of your face” I kneeled at the end of bench. Silently praying I could get him home safely. 

 

“Ember!” He yelled as he jump on me causing us both to fall to the ground. I couldn't hold back the tears. 

 

“Don't you ever run away from me again.” I whispered and I felt him nod on my chest. 

 

“Here Pone” Dally said as he handed him a letter. “It's from your brother Sodapop.”

 

“Thanks Dal.” Pony ripped open the letter. I saw him crack a small smile. Just like old soda to make him smile. 

 

“Can we get some food?” Johnny asked quietly. 

 

“Yes! I'm starving,” Pony answered, he helped me off the floor and we headed out to the car. 

 

They looked skinny. Skinner than normal. I don't want to know what happened these past few days I just want them home. I want this to all be over. I want my brother to not be a murder suspect. I want the state off our back. I wish Darry didn't leave. I wish Dallas wasn't such an ass. I just wish for once our lives could be normal again. But, they haven't been since mom and dad died. No matter how hard we try, we are orphan greasers. Nothing will ever be good for us. It's just a proven fact. Just look at Dally, he's basically an orphan and look at how bad he turned out.   
I just wished this week didn't happen.


	8. letter to readers

hi everyone!

 

I'm so sorry I know its been forever since I last updated. I know, I know I'm terrible. but I've made the decision to revise the story so far. There are some details I added that no longer fit to the direction I'm going with the story. I promise to let you all know when I am finished so you can reread. Thank you so much for reading.

 

Don't forget to comment so predictions or ideas for the story

 

much love,

Merthur_destiel


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